The Daily Discoveries of Gustavo Valentine

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Location: United States

Monday, July 31, 2006

MCD 2006

These are some pictures my parents took on their night out in Seattle: It was the reunion of the band Murder City Devils who said they would never be together again. 8,000 kids showed up to yell at them to please play their favorite songs and when the band did the kids screamed and pointed to the moon and rolled on top of other kids' heads. Some even jumped from high places into the crowd like it was a swimming pool.
This is a Supertrooper. He liked my mom and dad and asked to be their friend and they said of course because of the nice prank, Farva.
This is Jay and Leslie Hardy. Leslie is a real estate person back in Michigan but tonight she was back to a rock-n-roll player, and how.
All the girlfriends and ex-girlfriends from over the years were there to cheer them on. And big huge Gabe the manager who stopped a yahoo trying to run up on stage by putting the guy's head inside his elbow and making him to a flip off the stairs into the dirt.
My parents had a blast from the past fun night. It was a screaming full sprint down memory lane.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Wake Up !

This is the door to my parent's bedroom. The CLOSED door. They are in there sleeping. They went out to a big show at the Capitol Hill block party last night and got home real late. My GrandP's babysat me. They gave me pork chops and then Mamam gave me a bath and I did something I've never done before. I went #2 in my tubby. Right there in the water. Mamam said it happened like lightning and that by the time she saw me crouch my body and make my eyes wide with surprise, it was too late. She must feel pretty special that I waited to do this trick when I was alone with her. I love her a lot. So now I'm waiting for that brown door to open and mom and dad to come out and get on with everything. I'm going to go stand outside the door and say their names twenty times in a row.

Friday, July 28, 2006


I can go up the ladder at the park. Mom stands behind me but I really don't need any help going up. Coming down is another story. I keep forgetting to put my feet back on the bars so I just hang with my hands and then let go. Turns out I need her behind me after all. But mama says whenever she needs me, I'm there for her, so it's all working out.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

and still I keep on truckin'

I know I talk a lot about trucks, but I am still hooked. My wagon phase came and went. My tricycle barely got any play. The ladder I do like, but nothing has or ever will replace my love for the truck. Grandpoop's home again and he lets me sit in it for as long as I want. When he goes to drive it in the morning, all the flashers are flashing, the wipers are wiping, the radio is the loudest, and he can't see out the window for all the greasy handprints. But he loves me so he lets me do whatever I want. He even lets me drive. Look--that's me driving. I am steering the wheel, not him! Mama calls him Britney Spears but he'll always be Grandpoop to me.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

our gang

My mama misses her LA posse. She feels like they are back in her life and she can call them up and make plans to be with them. But they are a ways away so she misses them but will never give up with the making plans to see them. Since she's been back, mom's been in a pretty good mood and so have I. I have been sleeping in real late, later than my parents, and its making us all love each other very easily. Mama says she has her eye on a ball again. I love balls!

Monday, July 24, 2006

summer vacation

These are some pictures of my mom's trip to the hot hot heat of Los Angeles. To beat the heat they went to duck under the big waves of the cool Pacific ocean. Uncle Mike is really into the beach this summer. They took along Uncle Hot Dog who is Bebel's (hi Bebel, hi and everything!) daddy who posed for many Bo Derek style sex on the beach photos. For everyone who is still down there stuck in the high temps, get in the car and drive to the water. Its breezy and different and you will not be sorry says Mama.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

The mother and child reunion only a motion away.

Back in her arms again. Aaaaghhh. The eternal sweetness. The all consuming safety. The thump of her heart that is swollen with love for ME. I saw her at the airport, standing there in her pretty dress, and I broke free of dad and ran, I ran so fast, right into those soft brown arms. I hugged her so tight and patted her back and stroked her hair and kissed her cheeks and lips. She said I looked taller and my face looked older and my teeth looked longer. She said she came back loving me and Dad even more than before and that being in LA got her some kind of shot in the arm that will help her be more calm and more nice for a good long time.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Wish you were here. Seriously.

I talked to my Momma on the phone yesterday. It was... hard. I don't know. My Dad's a great guy, but he has different ways of doing things and different games he likes to play and everything's all so DIFFERENT all the time, you know? Like his favorite game right now is, stick a bunch of Cheerios to my face. That's not fun for me, Dad!
Mom would never stick a bunch of Cheerios to my face!
Today, though, we're going on a roadtrip with Uncle Nick, so maybe that'll be good?
I hope so!

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Where's MOM?

Today we dropped off Momma at the airport where an airplane was going to take her to visit the old town of Los Angeles where her friends still live in the heat and brown air. This is fine (I guess) but now I'm left all alone with my Dad and Mamam, and right off the bat I've got a black eye and a new hairdo and my clothes are clashing and snacktime was a long time ago (but where's the snacks?) and I'm wondering already, I'm wondering: Where's my MOM?

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

do you know this man?

He acts like Uncle Nick and he sounds like Uncle Nick and he certainly smells like Uncle Nick, but I still can't figure out who he is:
(But he's having more fun.)

Sunday, July 16, 2006

The Day I Came To Be

And now we've gone all the way back to the day I got here in the world. I was a little late so they put a machine on mom's belly so they could listen to how I was doing. She had a contraction and I guess I sort of flipped out. The doctor said it made me stressed and that wasn't good and mama's eyes filled up with tears and nervousness. So then they induced me into coming out that night. Dad rushed home and got mom's suitcase and started making calls to people who called other people. Mama skipped over all the how-far-apart waiting time and went straight to the "truck on fire crashing into my spine" time. Dad and Uncle Mike tried to help her but they couldn't do anything so they pretended they were in labor themselves. Then mama got THE SHOT, THE SWEET SWEET SHOT and all was well. She watched a Laker game, she visited with her friends, dad got a cot next to her and they rested and waited....

...Then, in the middle of the night, the doctor came in and tapped on my womb and said okay lets go. Trap doors opened from the ceiling and dad got up and all frantic and the nurses started rushing around everywhere, then Uncle Mike and Uncle the Chief arrived from after their work at the bar and then like a miracle my Nana and my Aunt Cari walked in from driving all night from Oakland. The Uncles decided to wait downstairs in the waiting room and everyone else gathered at my mom's head and she pushed and pushed and made crumply faces and then BOOM!!!

They took me out and put me on mama's chest and everyone cried and laughed and looked at me and then looked a little closer and wondered what the hell happened to this guy? Geez!!! My dad said someone must have jumped me on the way out and beat the s**t out of me. I was pretty beat up for sure. But everyone was real polite and told me how cute I was and thank GOD, after some very awkward stages which you've all now seen, I did become normal and cute. So that's the story of the first day of my life, January 15, 2005.

Friday, July 14, 2006

more old school jams

This is when I was only a few weeks old. Can you imagine only being alive for 3 weeks? What a weird feeling that I can't remember. My parents used to wrap me up like a tootsie roll because it made me feel warm and cramped up like I was inside mama's belly. I sleep all freestyle now, not even a sheet over me. The womb seems like a long lost dream to me now.....
And this was me during a brief and confusing white power phase. We don't really bring it up anymore.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

glory days

So, this is me at 3 months old. Apparently I just used to sit around like a blob and do nothing. Boring!!! My parents called it my potted plant phase. They seem to remember it very fondly. Compared to the energetic wild man I am today I feel I had little to offer back then. Mom and dad must be so relieved that I'm finally out of that immobile quite phase!

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

blast from the past

Once again, I apologize. For throwing the camera in a tub of water. For disrupting the blog. My mom and dad keep asking me: How many days do I think my friends will continue to check in and see the same old pictures? Mama ordered a new camera on the interweb and the mailman will bring it soon and then I promise it'll be right back into the always exciting daily discoveries of yours truly. So for now I thought hows about a walk down memory lane? See some old photos of when I was young. I think my old bald look made me look pretty punk. And this is and old picture of Mamam when she was the same age so you can all see where I get my good looks.

Saturday, July 08, 2006


Our friends have gone now. We are all trying not to be depresso about the lonliness we feel. When they were here it was the perfect combination of the beautiful nature we live in and the fun of being social. There were domino tournaments and big dinners and reminiscing about the old days. My dad and his boyfriends have been buddies since they were real young and real wild. You should have heard some of those stories! And the most fun for all on the trip was the newfound love of the game of tennis. They played everyday that they were here, sometimes twice in one day. It was couple against couple and the third couple would play with me on the side. Everyone left here completely hooked and they will spread the tennis fever into Echo Park when they return. Deuce deuce deuce deuce!!!


Friday, July 07, 2006

4th of July

Do you see these things? These crazy lights that explode in the dark sky? They are fireworks and they are incredible. SO I AM TOLD. You see, I didn't get to see these incredible fireworks. I don't even ever get to see the dark sky for that matter. Because I'm little. Because I cannot stay awake, I just can't. All the big people went over to our new house on the water and watched the great show that happened over all the boats sitting in the bay and over the twinkling Poulsbo town. And the boys, lead by a fearless Anton, shot off hundreds of dollars of their own fireworks that made all the ladies ooh and ahh and feel excited by their men.

Back at home my dad and my uncles lit off some stuff so that I could see the fire and hear the loud booms which I really liked. Anton ran away real fast so he wouldn't get his parts blown off and my dad stood real still while rockets shot out of his hand. I thought that looked amazing but mom said he looked like a retarded person. All in all it was a very fun holiday and it was also safe and sane.

Thursday, July 06, 2006


Everyone got wild throwing the axe, which as you know, is what we do for fun around here. Apple had some amazing moves.
And dad tried to throw mama at the tree.
And we thought for sure that Uncle the Chief would be the one to bring the old hatcheted tree a tumblin' down, but its still standing.
Dad was real proud of the poppies he and Mamam are growing and Uncle Anton was so excited he tried to lick them but Apple stepped in and saved him from a not-so-freelapse, whatever that means.
But the craziest of all was auntie Ingo whose whole body would follow the axe when she threw it at the tree. My parents and their friends sure do get a lot of use out of the axe that was given to ME that I haven't even been able to touch since the first day it arrived.